AYA: 26 September 2018

Tomorrow I will wake up and officially be 25. This came as a bit of a shock last week to be honest. I will be 25 in a matter of hours and what have I accomplished? What goals have I achieved? Where am I in life? All of these questions led to rather glaring disappointment and a feeling of failure.

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When I was engulfed in a really dark mood and found myself lacking in any motivation I took a hard and long look at my life. While initially this led to my mood, doing it again and reevaluating I realised that while I may not have achieved what I thought I would when I was 15 I have actually done some worthwhile things.

So yes,

  • I still live at home with my parents
  • I have not finished nor published any of my books
  • I don’t have my own car
  • I am not engaged or married
  • I don’t have my first child
  • I don’t work for myself
  • I don’t have my first home

But

  • I do have multiple diplomas to my name and getting more
  • I do have a person in my life that I adore and whom genuine loves me for me
  • I do have multiple books in process
  • I have an amazing support group and system
  • I have embraced who I am
  • I have discovered passions I never thought to explore like my tutoring
  • I pay my way in my own way
  • I have been accepted for who I am by the people around me

So while I look at my friends and see where they are in life and by human nature compare it to where I am, it does sting and I have my moments of bleak dark despair I remember to take a deep breath and take a step back and not just look at their lives but to really look at mine and realise how lucky and blessed I am.

I now have goals in place and while I will not talk about them before hand, rather I shall show the results of each goal and achievement. So while I am anxious and approaching my 25th with mixed feelings, it is no longer with the grip of failure but optimism, excitement and a dash of anxiety

2 thoughts on “AYA: 26 September 2018

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  1. Happy Birthday! Take it from someone in her thirties, you’re doing fine and have a lot of time left to accomplish all of the things you want to. I know it can be easy to look at others and feel like you’re falling behind, but everyone will go through hardships at different points in their lives. People who are married now might be divorced in 10 years and someone who is financially successful now could get laid off or could burn out from stress and go through financial difficulties later on. Ultimately none of these outward signs of success are really as important as they seem. So go out there and have a blast on your birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

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