Tomorrow I will wake up and officially be 25. This came as a bit of a shock last week to be honest. I will be 25 in a matter of hours and what have I accomplished? What goals have I achieved? Where am I in life? All of these questions led to rather glaring disappointment and a feeling of failure.
When I was engulfed in a really dark mood and found myself lacking in any motivation I took a hard and long look at my life. While initially this led to my mood, doing it again and reevaluating I realised that while I may not have achieved what I thought I would when I was 15 I have actually done some worthwhile things.
- I still live at home with my parents
- I have not finished nor published any of my books
- I don’t have my own car
- I am not engaged or married
- I don’t have my first child
- I don’t work for myself
- I don’t have my first home
- I do have multiple diplomas to my name and getting more
- I do have a person in my life that I adore and whom genuine loves me for me
- I do have multiple books in process
- I have an amazing support group and system
- I have embraced who I am
- I have discovered passions I never thought to explore like my tutoring
- I pay my way in my own way
- I have been accepted for who I am by the people around me
So while I look at my friends and see where they are in life and by human nature compare it to where I am, it does sting and I have my moments of bleak dark despair I remember to take a deep breath and take a step back and not just look at their lives but to really look at mine and realise how lucky and blessed I am.
I now have goals in place and while I will not talk about them before hand, rather I shall show the results of each goal and achievement. So while I am anxious and approaching my 25th with mixed feelings, it is no longer with the grip of failure but optimism, excitement and a dash of anxiety